Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. You know, that greeting card holiday where we tell everyone how much we love them. Years ago, when I was dating my husband, it was a special occasion. We would go out, do romantic things, enjoy each other. Now? Now we’re busy wiping butts and noses, making dinner, and doing laundry to even notice Valentine’s Day.
Now if you’re smart, you see the issue here. Parenting is hard, it’s even harder when you and your spouse aren’t getting some time to connect. I can always tell when my marriage isn’t getting enough time. My husband and I get short with each other, we get frustrated easily, we’re short with the kids. We need some time to reconnect and focus on each other, it helps us be a better team.
For many of us, being mom means having kids hanging on you all day long. So the last thing you want is to have someone ELSE hanging on you after they’re in bed. I like to take some time for me, and then I can focus on my husband. If I don’t have some quiet, alone time, I’m worthless. There are also ways to help enhance your mood. Light some candles, put on some cute lingerie, or put on some music.
For some, after bed time is just not a feasible time to spend time with your partner. Hiring a sitter and heading out for a few hours at a time that works for you can be a great way to spend some time with each other. The priority is taking a little time to reconnect.
I’m always a fan of wearing something that makes you feel good when you’re spending time with your partner. Whether that means investing in a cute nursing bra, or wearing a shirt that makes you feel pretty, or maybe it’s a hot pair of shoes, feeling good is important, and feeling like you look good can help you relax and reconnect with your partner. And let’s face it. Motherhood is hard, we need our partners to stand beside us, and we need to stay united to make it all work well.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ll be giving away one set of lingerie (maternity or nursing) to a lucky lady. Let us know what you do to stay connected to your partner in the comments, and be sure to check out the PassionSpice line and add a little spice to your Valentine’s Day! I’ll choose a winner on 2/01/12.
Well, with a busy toddler, we make sure we get enough time together once he goes to bed. Whether it’s just a relaxing conversation, watching a movie, or cleaning the house together (haha), it keeps us somewhat connected. Of course there are the “grownup” things we do in the bedroom too, but the everyday things are just as important!
I have an 8-month-old, and honestly I’ve been struggling the entire 8 months with the mom/wife balance! It’s hard to leave the lil’ one with the sitter at night, or for any length of time since I’m nursing. The sitter pickins’ are slim, so we’ve only done it twice. Ever. The baby shares our bedroom too, and even a creak of a floorboard will often wake her up! After the whole night routine is done, we spend about half an hour together, if that, after the baby is asleep, and we’re both too tired to even talk. Working on *making* time for my marriage is one of my big resolutions for this year… Still working on the logistics though, haha!
When I was pregnant with my first I really didn’t want to have sex all that much. I was nauseous at first, then too big, I was just not feeling it. It was so bad that my husband didn’t want a second child… I’m doing better with it now, but it’s still not a priority. Telling myself that this is the one and only thing HE really wants and needs helps, working on my marriage is equally as important as working on being a good Mom. Both needs to be in balance to raise a happy child!
You hit the nail on the head! If I could have some ME time before sex time, I would be so into it. But when it comes to giving myself to yet another person after a day of working and taking care of the kids and the house, I am bitter. I always feel better afterward no matter what, though! It’s just hard to get into it. I’m going to try your suggestion, because right now, we DON’T take time to reconnect.