An Open Letter To All Moms

Dear Moms,

There is something I need to tell you.  And it’s kind of important.  So go ahead and change that diaper, get the toddler a snack, grab your coffee and come back.  I’ll wait.  I promise.

Ok, you ready? Here it is.  YOU are amazing.  YOU are wonderful. Please do not let others tell you otherwise.  Our media keeps trying to spin these mommy wars and put us against each other. It is time to stop feeling shame for how you fed your baby, how you diapered your baby, how you potty trained your baby, (and on and on). YOU did the best you could.  You used the tools and information you had at the time and you made the best decision for your family. Can I tell you something?  That is enough. Please don’t feel guilty because you’ve learned more since then. We all have.  It’s ok.

Don’t lash out when someone tells you that we now know better.  They’re not bashing you (and if they really are, they’re not worth your time or worry).  They’re trying to help someone else.  Moms do not look at their choices for their family and choose the one that is the worst option.  We don’t purposely make unsafe decisions for our children.  We all make decisions that we feel are best for our families based on the information we have.

Learn more about this parenting journey and what is best (or normal) for babies. Make changes and grow.  Then share that knowledge.  Don’t judge, don’t look down on others, but offer information.

You’ve heard the saying that it takes a village to raise a child.  It takes a village to provide information for a mother.  Think about that.

When you have your first baby, what information do you know?  What you’ve learned from watching others.  What if we actually shared our experiences and our research with compassion for others?  How would that change our conversations?

Moms – STOP letting the media and companies try to turn us against each other.  Lets support each other, no matter what choices we have made in the past.  Lets embrace our differences, respect the new moms we want to help educate, and grow. We all deserve more than these battles.  When we can stop fighting about choices we’ve made and the things we learned in the process and we start sharing these things to SUPPORT others, we’ll be a force to be reckoned with.  Imagine the change we can be for our children if we can teach them this skill.  We’ve got this moms.  Let’s put down the World’s Best Mom sash and the pitchfork and let’s support each other.

Are you with me?


  1. Two words. Thank you

  2. Liane Varnes says:

    Katy, I love this! It’s exactly how I feel as well! I feel such a strong need to strengthen our sisterhood! I reposted this on my fb page. Thanks for putting into words how so many of us feel!


  3. Hear Hear!

  4. Such great words to share. Wonderful – thank you!

  5. I love this! I’d love to share this on my blog. More moms need to hear something like this!

  6. Katy:
    Just found this blog. Am 50 yrs old and have long since weaned my three babies. I read your thoughtful comments and shed a few tears. Didn’t realize the guilt I had been carrying, and I so appreciate the fresh, real perspective.
    Will be so glad to share my new perspective with my now 27 year old baby girl!
    Thanks again,
    Michelle Koser RN IBCLC
    Gettysburg PA

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