Dear Moms,

There is something I need to tell you.  And it’s kind of important.  So go ahead and change that diaper, get the toddler a snack, grab your coffee and come back.  I’ll wait.  I promise.

Ok, you ready? Here it is.  YOU are amazing.  YOU are wonderful. Please do not let others tell you otherwise.  Our media keeps trying to spin these mommy wars and put us against each other. It is time to stop feeling shame for how you fed your baby, how you diapered your baby, how you potty trained your baby, (and on and on). YOU did the best you could.  You used the tools and information you had at the time and you made the best decision for your family. Can I tell you something?  That is enough. Please don’t feel guilty because you’ve learned more since then. We all have.  It’s ok.

Don’t lash out when someone tells you that we now know better.  They’re not bashing you (and if they really are, they’re not worth your time or worry).  They’re trying to help someone else.  Moms do not look at their choices for their family and choose the one that is the worst option.  We don’t purposely make unsafe decisions for our children.  We all make decisions that we feel are best for our families based on the information we have.

Learn more about this parenting journey and what is best (or normal) for babies. Make changes and grow.  Then share that knowledge.  Don’t judge, don’t look down on others, but offer information.

You’ve heard the saying that it takes a village to raise a child.  It takes a village to provide information for a mother.  Think about that.

When you have your first baby, what information do you know?  What you’ve learned from watching others.  What if we actually shared our experiences and our research with compassion for others?  How would that change our conversations?

Moms – STOP letting the media and companies try to turn us against each other.  Lets support each other, no matter what choices we have made in the past.  Lets embrace our differences, respect the new moms we want to help educate, and grow. We all deserve more than these battles.  When we can stop fighting about choices we’ve made and the things we learned in the process and we start sharing these things to SUPPORT others, we’ll be a force to be reckoned with.  Imagine the change we can be for our children if we can teach them this skill.  We’ve got this moms.  Let’s put down the World’s Best Mom sash and the pitchfork and let’s support each other.

Are you with me?

Today we went out for the last minute back to school errands.  I can NOT believe my oldest baby starts 2nd grade tomorrow.  I’m not sure how this has happened.  We went and got her hair cut, where she decided what she wanted done.  Then we headed to the mall to exchange a few items. We went into the bathroom at Nordstroms and walked past the couch in the ‘lounge’ where I used to sit and nurse her when she was a baby.  I reminisced about the times with friends, feeding our babies who are now 2nd graders.

She picked out some big girl clothes to replace the ones that didn’t fit. She looked SO grown up in that fitting room wearing the most adorable jeans and shirt (which she picked out) and her new ‘do.  I stopped to soak it all in a bit, then it was off to make sure the 3 year old didn’t run circles around the clothing racks and fall down, keep the baby in the sling happy, juggle the shopping bag and the diaper bag, trying to keep all 3 kids close and out of harms way.

Then we got on the escalator.  Trying to make sure all the kids were safe and staying close.  The lady a few steps above us stopped to talk to me.  She said, ‘It goes too fast, enjoy it.’  She is the mom of 4.  She said three of her 4 are in college.  She told me that she remembers these years, and while they are tough when you’re in the midst of it, it flies by and you will miss it.

I thanked her.  I told her that it’s certainly overwhelming to be in the midst of it, but my children are an amazing blessing.  When Bekah tried to run circles around The GAP, I remembered the conversation on the escalator.  She will be a teenager before I know it.  I took a deep breath and calmly tried to keep her close to me.

It’s amazing how a nice comment from a stranger can take me from frazzled mom of three trying to keep the kids from destroying Nordstrom’s or getting lost in the mall to more relaxed and ready to enjoy my kids.  It’s so nice to have moms who have been there to encourage those of us who are in the midst of it.

Has a comment from a stranger ever changed your day?